| 4/30/2008 2:12:29 PM From: mercury option a, along with some hefty alimony... if I lived in an alimony state, that is. |  |
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| 4/30/2008 2:16:09 PM From: emkay64 A) ammended to include a crushing kick in the balls for having the audacity to ask. |  |
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| 4/30/2008 2:17:12 PM From: emkay64 No..I wouldn't respect them. I would think they are weak and submissive...sorry...that's just me. | |
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| 4/30/2008 2:56:43 PM From: BCAR Conditions for return: Full disclosure and joint ownership of all assets along with preapproved guidelines for child support and custody. In writing by a lawyer and filed. Full access to all financial transactions and accounts...... Then privately put into action a 6 month exit strategy that would work to your benifit and the other persons detriment. Plan, scheme, lie and set up the domino's. Then when all in in place trip the switch and throw their ass out into the street. |  |
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| 4/30/2008 2:57:47 PM From: BCAR I think you would be respecting the hell out of said person then. | |
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| 4/30/2008 4:03:45 PM From: timesjoke Relationships are never so cut and dry, there are all sorts of complications on 'both' sides of a failed relationship. The point about child support makes me see a very different side to this because as is normal, children always pay the price for the immature actions of the parents. I say getting back together should always be a consideration taken seriously even if only 5% chance because 'if' the parents can truly bury the hatchet, that will be the best for the child. A child without their father in the home is many times more likely to commit suicide, drop out of school, get pregnant before 16, and even have substance abuse/depression problems that can last a lifetime.*********BCAR- I normally like your ideas but in this case, I have to say that is definately the wrong thing to do when there are kids involved. Revenge driven actions tend to harm you more then your enemy in the long run anyway, but in this case, like them or not, they are still the father/mother of your child and going out of your way to destroy your child's father/mother will forever make you the bad guy and not only to your children's eyes. Consider the lesson you teach the child as well, it is okay to lie and have a fake relationship as long as your doing it to make more money? Bad on more levels than I care to think about.
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| 4/30/2008 5:21:11 PM From: mercury In this case, I think B is dead on. This girl needs to cover her bases, He left her high and dry once, there's a good chance he'll do it again. He had no consideration for her investment in their property or the needs of THEIR child. Fcuk him. (I'm assuming this is the woman who bought a farm with her boyfriend, worked her ass off on it, wasn't added to the deed and got kicked to the curb with little to no warning. She'd be a smart girl to protect her interest in the event he pulls the same shit again. That is if she's dumb enough to go back for more...) | |
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| 4/30/2008 10:29:38 PM From: Ali Merc is right. After all his threats, lies and abuse she took him back without a hitch. I've completely lost all respect for her. |  |
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| 5/1/2008 4:11:45 AM From: timesjoke Once we start having children, we are supposed to stop behaving like kids ourselves. Sure, we will never remove the temptation to have revenge, that is normal, but looking past our first instincts to see what is best for our children is what we 'should' be doing. I did not say she should get back with him, I said that "if" they could reconcile, that was better for the child's futre. I would endure any amount of hardship for my children. So, my advise to the woman in this situation would be to take some time alone and truly search her feelings, if forgiveness and reconcilement is truly a possibility, to go for it but take a couple precautions. I believe it was said she was never married to him, I would say that he needs to marry her to give her more legal rights should he ever do something like this again as a minimum........Just to recap, I believe the severe risk a faterless child must endure makes "true" reconciliation more valuable in the long run than revenge in the short run. Children without fathers in the home = 15.3 times more likely to have behavioral disorders, 4.6 times more likely to commit suicide, 6.6 times more likely to become teenaged mothers, 24.3 times more likely to run away, 15.3 times more likely to have behavioral disorders, 6.3 times more likely to be in a state-operated institutions, 10.8 times more likely to commit rape, 6.6 times more likely to drop out of school, 15.3 times more likely to end up in prison while a teenager, 73% of adolescent murderers come from mother only homes, Daughters who live in mother only homes are
92% more likely to divorce, 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes...........Is revenge really worth putting your child in harms way? | |
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| 5/1/2008 7:07:58 AM From: Jez sure i'd still respect them. it's none of my business how they live their life, or the straits they're in that keeps them in that awful cycle. what IS my business is knowing what happened with this guy's new girlfriend that turned it sour so fast. give up the gossip, girl! |  |
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| 5/1/2008 8:17:17 AM From: beags A and no. | |
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| 5/1/2008 8:21:02 AM From: beags My husband's friend is putting his girlfriend through a similar situation. They're not married- she wants to, he doesn't. He owns the house, she helps pay the bills (but her name, as far as I know, isn't on anything that she can claim to own at any point in the future- just utilities and the like). He booted her out once, and then let her come back. She showed up with her bags like nothing had happened and assumed financial responsibility yet again. It frustrates me because she could do so much better but she wants to be with this guy- she could find a straight guy to treat her like a goddess (she really is a pretty girl and takes good care of her boyfriend and the houses) and the one she wants to be with is a complete tool with what I think are serious mental issues, plus, I don't think he's heterosexual. | |
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| 5/1/2008 8:21:52 AM From: beags Not houses. House. They only have one, LOL. If they had two I'd suggest she live in the other one and find a nice boy-toy to play with. | |
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| 5/1/2008 10:25:58 AM From: wildbob I like the way BCAR thinks on this one. | |
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| 5/1/2008 10:42:50 AM From: BCAR TJ you have to understand that in my position as anti Hugglie Fluffer I am required to to present a certain point of view. Thinking with the heart instead of the head is would run counter to my persona. And people like Wild Bob would lose all respect for me. | |
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| 5/1/2008 4:35:05 PM From: emkay64 I bet that girl in Austria would differ on TJ's ideas about "needing" the father in the home. | |
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| 5/1/2008 7:40:56 PM From: timesjoke emkay, it is not the woman who needs the father, it is the child. Children need their father, the statistins clearly show the result of women who raise children without the father being in the home. That is not to say there are not excpetions, but clearly if the two parents can see past their hatred and need for revenge, their children will reap most of the benefits..........BCAR, my point fully supports the raw facts without emotion possition. I posted how children without fathers in their home have many proven hardships to include a very high suicide rate. If we remove the emotional desire for revenge, we see the rational decision is to select the option that helps the children the most. | |
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| 5/1/2008 8:39:36 PM From: emkay64 I think Rani and TJ should hook up :P | |
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| 5/1/2008 9:10:52 PM From: Rani If she is smart, she will tell him to frack off or at very least, what BCAR said, protect her future interest. |  |
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| 5/1/2008 9:12:58 PM From: Rani TJ you need to go read this site...http://www.metlife.com/Applications/Corporate/WPS/CDA/PageGenerator/0,4132,P985,00.html | |
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| 5/1/2008 11:11:08 PM From: ImWithStupid I choose to hedge my bets with whatever booty I'm most likely to tap consistently. |  |
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| 5/2/2008 1:47:24 AM From: hugo Rani's link is full of crap. | |
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| 5/2/2008 4:22:34 AM From: timesjoke Rani- What the hell was that supposed to prove? Did you see the prolific use of the word "can"? I never said a single woman could not raise a child well, I said the odds were against her and I even posted real numbers from studies to prove it while all you offer is opinions designed for the 'feel good' crowd. This is the age of not holding anyone responsible for anything they do so things like what you posted is based in that mindset instead of looking at real studies and facts to make observations, let me show you one of the results of studies******"Сhildren from one-parent homes do need more communication with their moms or dads. However, the parents are often absent from the home, being busy working to provide their children with basic necessities. The children have to find someone who would be a parent-substitute with whom to communicate and to share experiences. Molesters take advantage of this situation and become friends to these emotionally-needy children." - Dr. William C. Holmes, MD, MSCE, Assistant Professor of Medicine and Epidemiology at the University of Pennsylvania.********So children in a single parent home is more likely to be sexually abused. | |
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| 5/2/2008 5:16:53 AM From: Rani One could also draw that same conclusion if both parents work. My whole point TJ, it is not the quantity of parents that fail children, it is the Quality of parents that fail children. | |
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| 5/2/2008 5:28:01 AM From: Rani If you compare one unhealthy ineffective role model to two healthy, effective parents, then you have a case and that is what statistins do. Anyone can bend statics to show what ever they want shown. | |
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| 5/2/2008 5:38:13 AM From: Rani In the example you cited, you failed to mention this study was based on low-income one-parent households and that the risk is due to the type of childcare facilities available to children from such families. A situation that is faced by not only low-income single parents but low-income families, period. | |
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| 5/2/2008 5:41:34 AM From: Rani Which points right back to BCAR's suggestion that if this woman reconciles with this man she should protect her financial interests. | |
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| 5/2/2008 5:48:59 AM From: Rani You also failed to state the reason behind Dr. Holmes study, to raise more Government funding for better childcare facilities for low-income families. Single parents raises more sympathy when you are begging for dollars. | |
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| 5/2/2008 6:23:20 AM From: Jez someone give tj a grain of salt. | |
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| 5/2/2008 7:01:38 AM From: Rani Fathers who pass away, generally have taken into consideration the impact their passing will have on his family and takes some measures to offset that impact, a Father who leaves his family for another woman, in more cases than not, don't even think of the impact that will have on his family and are only thinking about self gratification. It is more likely, a man who can and will so casually throw his family away for a piece of new ass doesn't care if his children are 15.3 times more likely to have behavioral disorders, 4.6 times more likely to commit suicide, 6.6 times more likely to become teenaged mothers, 24.3 times more likely to run away, 15.3 times more likely to have behavioral disorders, 6.3 times more likely to be in a state-operated institutions, 10.8 times more likely to commit rape, 6.6 times more likely to drop out of school, 15.3 times more likely to end up in prison while a teenager, 73% of adolescent murderers come from mother only homes, Daughters who live in mother only homes are 92% more likely to divorce, or that 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. And if his reason for returning to his former family is due the new piece of ass has become a liability, his opinion about actually meeting the needs of his former family hasn't changed, he still could care less, he is only there until the next new and exciting piece of ass comes along. | |
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| 5/2/2008 10:51:13 AM From: hugo The fact is, women, if ya don't want your kids doing life without parole ya better put up with our crap. | |
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| 5/2/2008 10:56:33 AM From: hugo "Who was Theodore Robert Bundy? After ten years of scrutiny on death row, he emerged as a chilling enigma, a charming and depraved killer who lured countless women to gruesome deaths.
Born in Philadelphia in 1946 to an unwed mother, Bundy’s father was a shadowy figure."
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| 5/5/2008 5:46:37 PM From: timesjoke Or the woman can 'be' that exciting new piece of ass and keep him home instead. The top two things married couples argue about, lost sexual interest of the woman, and money. I like an old saying my Grandfather used to say, "If you don't feed your dog at home, he is going to end up at the neighbor's house looking for food." ************** Anyway, now that I took a few seconds to answer your male bashing crap we can return to the facts, yes, that one single study I offered was about single parents (99% of those being women) and how that single parent did not have the time to pay attention to their children so that means they are vulnerable to looking for attention from other places. Clearly two parents will have a better chance of spending time with their children compared to one, this is common sense. While I am offering facts, your offering nothing but male bashing and unfounded opinions. The biggest growing segment of society in America today is single, never wed, mothers. As a great comedian once said, "sure you can reaise a child alone, and you can drive your car with your feet too, but just it being possible does not make it a good idea." | |
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| 5/9/2008 10:34:38 AM From: Moob I'd probably choose Option B with a few changes. Not so much Open arms, but untrusting arms backed by a mind and heart that probably wants to work things out. There is always a reason people cheat on each other. Find that reason and move on. I would not lose respect for people who are in love and want to keep their partners. My father took my mother back every single time she went out and cheated on him. Not because he was weak, but because he is strong. It takes a whole truck load of love to do what he did. and I don't think that love makes you a weak person. He didn't trust her at all, but he loved the hell out of her. And when she took half of his life and married some scrub from nowhere, he nearly died. His heart was destroyed. But, like a strong person, he came back and moved on. He still loves her, but he will never speak to her again. |  |
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| 5/9/2008 10:54:42 AM From: Chi And all of that heartache could have easily been avoided by not having taken your skanky mom back (no offense). At LEAST after the 2nd time. I don't see how allowing someone to make an ass out of you time and time again can be seen as anything, but weak, sorry. |  |
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| 5/9/2008 5:14:13 PM From: emkay64 Maybe taking them back the first time is strong. Two times is stupid, and three or more means you enjoy being a doormat and a martyr. For the record Moob, I'd be willing to bet that if your Mom came crawling back, your dad would no doubt giver her another chance and another, and another..... | |
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| 5/9/2008 8:26:00 PM From: Chi ^^Exactly. You know the saying, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice... | |
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| 5/10/2008 9:44:53 PM From: Rani Yes, I agree, children who have both parents being parents is best. However, a woman should not be forced to "put up" with a bad man just because she has a child by him. As the saying goes..."Any man can father a child, but it takes a real man to be a daddy." And a man who is a true "daddy" is going to be there for his child regardless if he lives in the home or not. If mom has to work and he is available, he is gonna take care of the children while she works, and if he has to work during that same time, he is gonna make sure his children have proper supervision. Common sense will tell you that too. A man and a woman do not have to resign themselves to living in the same home in a bad relationship in order for their children to have 2 parents. If a child is being raised by a single parent then, common sense tells you, one of the parents has discarded their child. Fathers like the guy described in this post, throws their children to the wind when the notion strikes them. One day he is there, the next, he is gone. Why should this woman feel obligated. This man did not come back because he loved his child or this woman and I doubt he will stay. This man could really care less about her and their child, this "family" is just a momentary convinence for him. | |
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| 5/10/2008 9:48:12 PM From: Rani It is not the quantity of parents that fail children, it is the Quality of parents that fail children. | |
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| 5/11/2008 1:04:33 PM From: hugo It's fracking hard for one parent to work and raise a child. It is a lot easier with two parents. Quantity matters. Just watch soccer and observe the team that is one man down. | |
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| 5/11/2008 4:30:04 PM From: hugo Of course, there ain't no way she should go back to that jackass. | |
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| 5/11/2008 7:39:16 PM From: Rani Yes it is fracking hard to raise a child by yourself. | |
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| 5/11/2008 7:55:33 PM From: hugo The smart thing to do is not to have some jackass's kids. | |
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| 5/11/2008 10:16:08 PM From: eddo ^^very wise words right there. |  |
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| 5/12/2008 4:16:34 AM From: mercury moob... staying in a suck-ass relationship is a lot easier than having the balls to leave it behind. Trust me on that. | |
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| 5/12/2008 7:17:30 AM From: emkay64 Chi--"Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice i stab you in the eye"....is that the saying? Maybe that's just my saying.... | |
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| 5/16/2008 7:42:07 AM From: Power I have a healthy fear (and therefore, begrudging respect) for that level of stupid. |  |
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| 5/18/2008 8:10:44 AM From: Chi THAT would be the saying, Em:) | |
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